Tony’s Travel Journal
FOR PARENTS ONLY
* The Following Material Is for Parents of Small Children Only and Otherwise Incomprehensible if Not Offensive to Others
Picking on the Food Network has become too easy. It's low hanging fruit.
So ... this week, at least, I thought I'd look at another network. One I actually watch. And these days, when I'm home, the majority of my TV watching time is spent sitting on the living room floor watching Nick Jr. and Noggin. I take an interest in my child's viewing habits. For all my earlier promises to myself that I'd limit her TV watching time to like--half an hour a day--that has been a hard policy to enforce. Denying a 2 year old when her lip starts to tremble and her face crumples, a look of utter betrayal in her eyes as she implores me: "Da Da? I want Backyardigans!" has proven to be too much for me.
It's edumacational anyways, right?
Plus, I really like THE BACKYARDIGANS. I find the adventures of Pablo, Austin, Tasha, Tyrone and Uniqua thrilling. It looks unlike anything else on kiddie TV, the characters (animated with the help of live action dancer choreographers) move differently than any other brightly animal colored characters you've ever seen. The backgrounds are eerily wonderful and atmospheric--like Grand Theft Auto without the dead prostitutes and chain saws. The music, by former Lounge Lizard Evan Lurie is quirky, catchy, creative and ever changing. In brief, each episode begins with the five (sometimes only four) characters playing in their adjacent suburban backyards. A theme is struck..they wander into an episode- long fantasy world. At some point in the story, one of the characters' stomachs will begin to growl. A snack is suggested. Whatever beautifully designed world of the imagination they're in dissolves around them as the friends rush the few steps home for a snack. I actually experience a frisson as the walls of a medieval castle, windswept beach, Mount Olympus-- whatever world the little friends occupy that week--dissolve around them, the trappings of a suburban backyard reassembling itself as they toddle inside for cookies.
On the other hand, I resent that the painfully animated WONDER PETS has an unholy grip on my daughter's affections. And I count the days until she tires of these cloyingly cute little cut outs, seemingly reassembled and animated from scraps of magazine photographs. Is it possible to hate an animated character? Personally hate them? Because my loathing for guinea-pig Linnie and turtle Tuck is exceeded only by my fervent hope that one of these days, the disgustingly cute duckling, "Ming-Ming" will get sucked into a lawnmower or a fan, ending her reign of terror over my household. And if my little girl grows up pronouncing her "l"s as "w"s--as the disgusting Ming Ming insists on doing in a misguided attempt at cuteness? I will hunt down the producers of this show and do them terrible violence.
I love YO GABBA GABBA. I don't care what you say, DJ Lance, Muno, Broby, Foofa, Toodie and Plex have taught my daughter many valuable lessons--like the desirability of napping, for one. Not to throw objects at Daddy's skull. Not biting. The value of "trying again" and "not giving up." All set to surprisingly weird, offbeat songs which--in another venue and with other lyrics, one might find oneself enjoying at a club. They get good indie bands as guests, and Mark Mothersbaugh of DEVO is a regular. I know every song and every lyric by heart.
BLUE'S CLUES I can take or leave. I do greatly prefer the episodes hosted by "Steve" to the ones featuring the seemingly overplucked and man-scaped "Joe". BLUE'S ROOM, a cynical brand expansion of the original show--with puppets--sucks. Blue's charm in the original was that she didn't talk. In BLUE'S ROOM she does. To ill effect.
All parents must, sooner or later, come to terms with DORA THE EXPLORER and her alleged "cousin", DIEGO. I've always found their relationship suspicious at best. And who is this kid, Diego, anyway? Where are his parents? How does he get to run around unsupervised in the jungle? And isn't he too young to have a driver's license? If not--then he's certainly too goddamn old to be hanging out with Dora!! I do like the "Rescue Pack" song, however. And my daughter's affection for these kissin' cousins is unwavering. So much so that I brought her to see Dora "Live" at Radio City--which is to throw oneself into a Skittle scented mosh pit filled with thousands and thousands of screaming kids and their mothers. At every appearance of the rascally fox, "Swiper", the walls shake like a high-pitched Nuremberg rally of sticky children , screaming "SWIPER NO SWIPING" in unison--as avidly as any cries of "Duce!" or worse. But...there's no arguing with true love. All kids love Dora and Diego--and the sooner we resign ourselves to that, the easier it'll go for us.
I like OSWALD just fine. LITTLE BILL is kinda charming and sweet--and relentlessly teaches good values. I"m okay with MAGGIE AND THE FEROCIOUS BEAST. That spider show is pretty cool.
I like NI HAO KAI LAN because my daughter loves it--and because any show that teaches her Mandarin is probably a good thing--preparing her for the day that this will be the language of our future masters. I like that Kai Lan's Granpa, "Ye-Ye" is always cooking dumplings. Not so crazy about Kai Lan's little friend Toli. He strikes me as a maladjusted, whining little shit--always acting out in hopes of getting special attention and sympathy. She should drop that little koala **** until they adjust his meds and hang out more with her tiger friend Rintu--or the more outgoing and well adjusted Ho-Ho. Every episode that Kai Lan persists in enabling her deeply disturbed, panda-obsessed, passive-aggressive little friend only teaches her impressionable audience that just pouting long enough will get you what you want. Time for tough love for Toli.
LAZYTOWN? This show totally creeps me out. In this candy colored ode to eugenics, live action "Sporticus" matches wits with the malevolent "Robbie Rotten" among various puppets in a stylized village populated by a credulous and generally helpless populace of Untermenschen, all of whom look to their blimp-dwelling hero as their unelected leader. . "Sporticus" is played by millionaire areobic champion and owner of an Icelandic gym franchise--who also produces, directs, designs the puppets--according to the credits, there's nothing he doesn't do--and the message, constantly reinforced throughout every episode is that the answer to all life's problems is relentless exercise, narcissistic exhibitionism--personified by muscle flexing, gratuitous displays of aerobics, and taking credit for everything. We are all helpless bivalves, waiting for a well-cut Uber Man to rescue us in Lazytown. It's a textbook showcase for apparent pathological narcissism. I find the show creepy and somehow...evil. Exactly how, I'm not sure yet. But I keep my kid away from it like caustic drain cleaner.
There's no keeping her away, however, from the bombardment of promos and songs from the painful and excrutiating industry created entity known as the "FRESH BEAT BAND." At the end of every other Nick Jr. or Noggin show, for the last few months, they've been pounding us silly, trying to introduce audiences to the music and antics of this hyperactively peppy music and dance group. Until a few weeks ago, they were being touted as the "JUMPAROUNDS" --then, perhaps, some office wag was overheard referring to them as the "ReachArounds" and a sudden name change was instituted over night--as if the previous campaign had never occured. (Causing, no doubt, untold psychological damage and confusion to their young, vulnerable fans). Not to be too cruel--but one of the "kids" in this bunch looks like a 32 year old masquerading as a teen. The lead "singer" (meaning, I gather, he moves his lips obligingly when called upon to do so) has the dead eyes of a man at the end of his string. The "rapper", a tall, gawky young man, throws himself into his moves with the urgency of someone who wants never to fill another fixin's bar--whatever the cost to his soul. It's a genuinely uncomfortable mash up of "street" affectations, "grown up" moves from MTV,and adults and children --that feels (to me, anyway) sleazy and exploitative. I fear the worst. That my daughter will love it.
While Miley and the Jonas Brothers--with any luck--will be in rehab or jail by the time my little girl is at the target age for their brand of hijinks, these FRESH BEAT creatures have me worried.
Yo Gabba Gabba is amazing - educational, entertaining, and freaky. The musical guests are great too. It's a shame that Pingu is no longer airing though. And apparently the hot shot Australians The Wiggles are now going to be shown on PBS Sprout. I need a DVD with the 'best of' all of these shows so I can put it on when I'm trying to do some cooking/laundry/sitting down.
Noggin has been our "go to" channel for years (my daughter is 6), and we've been through all the stages. I, too, despised Ming Ming, and I loathe Lazy Town (totally creeps me out). I'm a big fan of Little Bear. Talking cats. Mermaids. Bears who bake cookies. I'm for it. But, I recently got the DVDs of the original Electric Company (what I watched when I was a kid). Nothing, I mean nothing, compares to the absolute cool of Morgan Freeman as the Easy Reader or hearing my daughter say, "Reading. It's outta sight."
You crack me up Anthony! Thankyou. Best wishes to you and your family.
Anthony, my wife and I (and our daughter) helplessly agree with every last assessment in your post. We are thankful that our daughter likes Steve and Blue, loves DJ Lance Rock, and is only vaguely aware that some of these latter-day Disney characters have their own TV shows (which she's never seen). If there is any justice in this world, then somewhere in a correctional institution in Butner, North Carolina, Mr. Bernard Madoff is serving his time with 23 hours a day of mandatory "Wonder Pets" viewing. (That last hour? A brisk stroll around the yard with an iPod, playing the warden's choice on repeat: "Hotel California." Or maybe "Wheels on the Bus.")
"The backgrounds are eerily wonderful and atmospheric--like Grand Theft Auto without the dead prostitutes and chain saws.".... LMAO : )
Simply put, Lazy Town just... goes through me. Like having Satan suddenly appear when you crack a joke about selling your soul.
Tony!Tony!Tony! Have you not been warned about the homing beacon in children? Wait until the "princess" stage hits....and your daughter wants to see where Cinderella lives.You know what that means.
Tony I don't know if you've herd, but it's a sad day for children's television, they just canceled "Reading Rainbow", now I need a new book club to join.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112312561&sc=fb&cc=fp
I don't see it on tv much anymore, but I HATE Teletubbies. I'm a pretty mellow person, and they are the only children's tv show characters that send me into a homicidal rage.
you're lucky barney's not around anymore.
First and foremost, thank you so much for the mental image of Anthony Bourdain in attendance at "Dora Live." It's not exactly the Ramones at CBGB, is it? I can only imagine the internal monologue of snark that must have accompanied that performance; ahh, the things we do for our kids.
Happily, our kids are now largely past the target age of these programs (though I'm actually sort of bummed they're too old for Backyardigans, which sounds kind of awesome); sadly that means they've graduated to the next level of TV pablum (though we all still agree on SpongeBob).
"Is it possible to hate an animated character?" Ohh, most definitely. It may help to imagine the culinary options that Ming-Ming presents: confit of Ming-Ming? terrine of Ming-Ming liver?
And yes, Steve was always the cool Blue's Clues host. It briefly rocked our world when he was replaced by Joe. Incidentally, I only just now realized exactly how cool Steve was when I pulled up his bio on Wikipedia - he recorded an album with guys from the Flaming Lips!
OMG! What happened to Sponge Bob Square Pants? ha-ha, My daughter will be two on the 7th and I must say without any doubt; I can totally relate to all your comments to all of the kids shows. The PBS shows are great as well in the morning, still love Sesame Street!! Jacks big music show is good too. OH and that show Oobie, totally freaky yet fun to watch for me..hands with eyeballs ha-ha-ha!
Tony you are the master of snarkitude. As I read this I thought of the most dreaded show i had to watch when my daughter was younger. Barney The Purple Dinosaur, I still can hear the theme song at the end of the show "I love you, you love me we are one big happy family". (insert loud scream here).
But you gotta love Elmo (I still do). Sesame Street is still a good kiddie program.
I wonder what they'll change the Fresh Beat Band to the first time they hear the mail clerk call it the Meat Beat Band? BTW, my Captcha words are: slop rock! LMFAO!!!
You know what's more frightening than Lazytown? A four year old who suddenly says "I want to watch Hannah Montana!" Thankfully her older brother steered her away from that with "Ed, Edd and Eddy".
My take on the freshbeat band: four malfeasant young adults sentenced to community service for drug-related crimes.
Who's lips start to tremble at the thought of only a half an hour a day?
It's a bit amusing and completely heart-warming to read your post as a parent. Different, in a nice sort of way.
You forgot Grandparents. Yes, we to must go through this ordeal. From our older view point, so much is just terrible. But with the help of the DVR attached to our TV, we only seem to record certain shows (you get the point) and after lunch we watch these shows side by side on the couch.
Reading your blog was a great laugh and I appreciate the time you are going through and hope you will write about the trip you will HAVE to take to Florida to THAT place.
That will make quite an article.
I just want to know why Dora has to YELL ALL THE TIME?!?
Toot & Puddle, despite the horrid name and the fact that they live in " Woodcock Pocket," is pretty good.
Tony, no offense but you got off easy! No Teletubbies, Barney or the fucking Wiggles. Hello. That crap would make you want to go back on the stuff. I'm deep into Miley/Jonas Bros land & I have to say, it's not too bad. I do have to bite my tounge a bit on my opinion of Ms. Cyrus but I gotta admit, as someone that had a mental love affair with Duran Duran back in the day, I'm more than fine with the JBros. My daughter likes Nick...I'm more partial to Joe.
Love your show & I'm reading KC currently...finally & it's captivating. And, I will never order Hollaindaise Sauce EVER again.
Fresh Beat Band ... Those damn songs have been playing in my head for weeks. And of course my 3 year-old insists and watching the same episode 3 times a day. Doesn't it seem the black guy Shout and white guy Twist are in opposite roles? Shout is the whitest black guy since Colin Powell and Twist is just a white guy who *thinks* has a black guy inside him. What a poseur! As a musician by profession, it annoys me that the brunette girl (Kiki?) airplays her guitar. I CAN'T STAND the Wiggles but at least they played their own guitars!!!
Oh, Mr. Bourdain. How you have managed to read my mind, I will never know.
I also have a two year old, and I keep her away from the horror that is LazyTown. That show gives me nightmares like I haven't had since college, when I mixed Sudafed with cheap beer. I hate that show like I hate the dentist, pap smears, and Rachael Ray. It is evil personified.
I have to say I concur. Mostly anyway. Having two children afflicted, no thanks to the moutains of chemicals in their on-demand foods, with ADHD, Noggin has been a bit of a quiet place for us. Before they went to 24 hours, I can tell you 6pm was met with Mommy hiding under the table clutching the ritalin.
I have to say I concur with most statements and I wonder what you would have said about the shows that were on no more than a year ago. 64 Zoo Lane and Charile and Lola, the british imports were my favorite, b/c only the Brits have figured out how to make a show for preschoolers that makes people on CMT look stupid.
Or How about Oobi? A whole show based on a person's hand with googly eyes, that only speaks in monosyllables. Loss of proper english notwithstanding, I miss these that have been replaced by the evil Lazy Town and I'm sorry Yo Gabba Gabba. I can't stand that one, but then again my kid's reaction to the music is probably not the same as your daughter's. (Reference Mommy hiding with Meds)
Well, I have to say this was an interesting read from you that I could not resist. Keep at it Tony. Now I am off to try to get tickets to one of your appearences. This ought to be good...
I encourage you to check out Chowder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chowder_(TV_series) and Flapjack http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marvelous_Misadventures_of_Flapjack just because the are kind of amazing and completely frightening.
Love the blog and best wishes to you and your family.
Author of "Kitchen Confidential"???
Dude. Turn in your man card.
I'm not a mother, and probably never will be, but I am an aunt. I've seen my share of kids' shows, and I must say, you've nailed it. They aren't my thing, but then, I'm hardly the target audience; still, I could see that Backyardigans was astoundingly creative, Yo Gabba Gabba likewise, and what I've seen of Ni Hao Kai Lan looks interesting. Dora, on the other hand, screams "CHEAP MARKETING PLOY", but with some effort made to mitigate what The Suits mandated. Of course, this is from a grown woman who still watches Pokemon, so take that for what it's worth.
Have you seen "Shaun the Sheep"? It's from the "Wallace and Gromit" people, it's brilliant, and my nephew adores it. There are a few other British kids' shows he watches, but unfortunately the names escape me. Teletubbies, for the record, is NOT one of them. My sister finds them creepy and a bit 1984-ish. I've always thought of them as crack dreams for toddlers, myself, and about as healthy.
Tony, I can't believe you spelled "wierd" incorrectly! It's W-E-I-R-D. Remember the old saying.. "I before E, except after...." ;)
Beyond my ridiculously annoying habit of correcting peoples' grammar, I just had twin boys 2 months ago... So I'm sure our boys will be part of the new generation of crappy childrens' viewing, but you oddly make me look forward to it!
Forget this food and travel thing. You should focus on a parent blog. You nailed what we all feel everyday. Also, as a travel man yourself, what is you take on Toot and Puddle?
Tony, agreed on all fronts. How about Wow Wow Wubzy? This one is always sure to turn my two children into modern, pint size versions of Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten. Running about the room with anarchy in their 3 and 4 year old hearts. The pace of the show, plus the early 80's inspired Devo/Cars post punk style soundtrack make this show a relentless assault on the senses. The animation looks to be 2nd gen Hello Kitty thow away. Somebody give the writers some thorazine.
The only good thing about Pokemon is that it makes my son forget about Lazytown.
It sounds like you've got Purette syndrome, which is like Tourette syndrome going in the opposite direction.
For teaching new languages to the little one, you should check out Muzzy. My good friends have their almost 2-year-old watching Muzzy in German, and he LOVES it. And is learning some German, too. Seems pretty awesome. http://preview.tinyurl.com/m4uccr
Wow...Lazytown as Nazi propaganda. My lazy brain could do with some exercise. This feels like the first time I dropped LSD - I've had my eyes opened anew! Very funny post, Mr. Bourdain!
I find the way they treat the young lady in Lazytown more sinister than anything else. They have her dancing like a stripper. As for the rest of them - well, wealth is apparently bad, theft is acceptable and sitting indoors playing computer games all day is okay as long it helps the story move along...
AHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Jesus christ. But i've always agreed about Dora and Diogo...Blues Clues hit a wall when Steve went to "college" ...right.
if you can-i suggest keeping to the classic Disneys. The voices are much easier to handle than Spongebob. but then he's a fry cook, maybe you have a sick kinship with him.
but Lazy Town. YOU have nothing to complain about; i've spent hours playing Lazy Town with a 5 year old girl--she got to be the pink haired, and i had to be Robby Rotten. When i say hours, i mean hours. And then it GETS BETTER! it's Lazy town dubbed in French for NIK FR!! ahhh!!!!!
Get ready. you'll be watching High School Musical episode 6 in a few years, THEN you might be ready to gauge your eyes out. at that point you will be retiring and needing a replacement. keep me in mind. i see it as Sam Brown is the new Rick Steves, and i'll be the new Bourdain. yep.
If you like Yo Gabba Gabba you should have been around for Bing & Bong
Attempt number two for you to read this Tony. Here it goes. I am a Sailor in the US Navy and a crew member of the future USS New York (LPD-21). Its been a pleasure of mine to serve this country for the last 11 and half years and now been afforded to be part of a ship that frankly belongs to all of us in a way. She has 70 tons of WTC steel in her and we plan on making her the best ship in the fleet. Our commissioning is this Veterans day in New York. Its going to be an awesome event and a historic time. I have never been to New York personally since 9-11. I was stationed on board the USS George Washington at the time and we pulled in to the harbor to help support the efforts. The reason Im writing you is because I am up to re-enlist for another tour and I would like you to read the re-enlistment oath and swear me in at my ceremony. As a fellow world traveler I have to been around the world a few times. But because of your show and the way you look at things it has inspired a new side of life and culture I never thought Id have. So what better way to sign on for another 4 years than to have the one guy who has made a large impact on how I look at things. Besides I figured whats the worst your gonna say? No? I hope this gets to you because writing the network hasnt gotten me any answers yet. So here is attempt 2. Hope this gets to you. And take care. I can be reached at siskwg@lpd21.navy.mil
A Skittle scented mosh pit? That is so funny! There are no limits on your ranting, are there? It would be fun to give you a pack of "Interpret It Yourself" Anthropology cards and see what brutally funny comments you come up with!
TONY, POLAND!!!
WE WAIT FOR YOU!
Lena
I agree with you on all counts. I must admit Backyardigans is my favorite as well. Although I do like the Monty Python like antics of the Upside Down Show if they still show it, I highly recommend it. Dora fortunately never caught on with my daughter but her love of Wonder Pets more than made up for it.
I agree mostly. My kids were young enough for those shows a while ago so I am still stuck in Bob The Builder and Blues Clues (Steve Version).
I think Backyardigans is cute, but when it started it was sandwiched between shows that I would not allow on my tv if the Good Lord Himself came down and threatened me with a smiting. Hell no. I don't do Lazytown.
On the other hand, if you want a TRULY enjoyable show that you can watch with your kids and which doesn't preach, Jane and the Dragon (Qubo) is fabulous. Gotta love a show that respects a little redhead girl who wants to be a knight and allows her to train.
latenac: the upside down show was done by the Umbilical Brothers. If you want to know why they would not be renewed, just check out their regular (adult) material on Youtube. The show was brilliant, but the networks were afraid I think.
Fraggle Rock was great. I used to watch it with my kids. Now they are out of college.
Actually Tony, I'm not a parent and am very glad you posted this. Why? I'm an *uncle*. And so my finger isn't on the pulse of this stuff to the same degree that a parent's is. But still, when the small ones are at my house, if we're not playing some Mario video game together, the TV can come on. This'll do for the beginnings of a road map.
The things we do for our kids. I too have a 2-yr old and when she wants to watch TV, I'm usually watching and singing along with her. Bourdain, my wife and I were laughing our asses off to your post because we feel the same way about these shows. Blue's Clue - Steve (good), Joe (lame). Yo Gabba Gabba, although freaky, we actually enjoy. Lazytown is Lame-o-town. I would add that JACK'S BIG MUSIC SHOW is entertaining. The old standby though for us is still Sesame Street.
I honestly have been wondering about the whole Jumparound thing myself and at the oddest times I have found myself pondering the name change. I agree that Lazy Town is evil and something about it gives me the creeps, So I to avoid that show at all costs. I love Yo Gabba Gabba and find myself looking forward to watching that show with my daughter, who is the same age as Tony's, just as much as she does. NI HAO KAI LAN is one of my daughters favorite shows, Rintu her favorite charactor, and while I myself find Ho Ho more appealing Rintu is the house favorite and so I am surrounded by that silly Tiger, and honestly love it. I watched one show of the Fresh Beat Band and honestly as the moments ticked away I found myself slower loosing IQ points and have never had it on again, something about it seems to sugar coated and creepy, like the man in the rusted white van with the bubble window offering the promise of candy but you know behind it all there is evil!
BOINGA!
Loved reading this!! I wiah my children were younger!
this is by far the nost disturbing post i've seen on here. tony talking about kids shows, the fact that he has a three y.o.!!!! it is amazing how much your kids run your life. it's like we're going to watch cnn, and they throw a 3 y.o. hissy fit, and what do you all end up watching, noggin or nick jr. i feel your pain ,which is why we now have 2 t.v.s!!!the shows are all pretty cool, except for lazytown!!! totally creepy & narcisstic!! i totally agree. good luck with the "terrible 3s"!!!
Lazytown = Crazytown. At least that is what my 3 boys call it. My 4yo is personally freaked out by the Wiggles!
My wife and I share our thoughts exactly. Our boys, both will request all of thsoe shows and we have no choice but to obey. I have done good in getting my son un-hooked from those shows by introducing something other to keep his mind busy.(In this case, his jiddo bought him his own ipod and filled it with games.)
The fresh beat band, had a show on last night and as much as I tried to wrestle the remote from my wife, I couldn't overtake her or deal with the crying on their faces of a thought of a world without "the Fresh Beat Band." I took wondered last night if the tall white guy was in his 30's,or how many slip-ups can I notice the token black guy make while singing. I then felt very wrong as if the 4 of them were all teens, how come the drummer chick looks like a pretty good-looking 20-something year old. We tried to stay clear of lazytown, except we bought a Nick Jr, compilation DVD and on it was Dora, Backyardigans, little bill, blue's clues and lazytown.
My sons are in love with Dora, Diego and Kai Lan. I am somewhat mad that two of these shows are aimed at girs so when my sons see Dora stuff, it is all pink! Hell, I had to find the non pink Kai Lan stuff at Target to buy for them, so they could be happy and I wouldn't have some little boy all in pink out there.
My wife thinks we should have a playdate next time you are near St. Louis. We can sit back, have some beers and watch Yo Gabba Gabba while the kids, and us, sing along to everything.
"Peek-a-boo, we're going to play Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo, we're going to find you, find you."---Plex
Tony you must check out the Australian Playschool - my daughter is nearly 2 - it's very home grown and not branded like all the kids programs are in the US. An Australian friend got my daughter hooked on it (and now that it's on the ipod we put it on towards the end of a meal out when she begins to get unruly and the crayons won't occupy her anymore). It's produced by ABC the Australian version of our PBS.
Oh my. Tony, you rule. This is perfect. As the father of a three-year-old, this is so spot on with my wife and I's observations. Besides, TCM (and some Travel Channel shows, of course), we're tuned into Noggin. Lazytown, The Fresh Beat Band, pure evil. Who's ideas were these? I od miss The Upside Down show.
We don't get Noggin or Nick Jr. anymore. So my son watches The Disney Channel. The only shows he watches on there is Handy Manny and The Imagination Movers. When we did have the other channel it was the Upside down show, Miss Spiders Sunny Patch Friends, and The Backyardagains.
I absolutely hate the Wonder Pets. My kids were going on about them almost a year ago and I sat down to watch it with them. NEVER AGAIN. I lasted 10 minutes before I changed the channel. I would have rather have put a fork in my eye to ever watch that again. It was terrible.
Tony, I can totally relate. How about Max and Ruby, where are their parents. Ruby is only 7, so why is she babysitting Max and taking him on the city bus to stores. Grandma visit's every now and then, but most of the time it's just Ruby and Max. Ozwald is the most annoying show. I can't stand to watch it. Lazytown either as Robbie Rotten looks weird in a sicko kind of way. Sparticus stalks those little kids, doesn't he have any friends his own age? On the other hand I love Toot and Puddle (although I haven't seen their parents either). At first I didn't like Yo Gabba Gabba, but somehow it grew on me. "Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts. That's what you gotta do" I hate to admit how much my 2 year old gets her way.
Oh. Dear. God. I am laughing so hard right now. Tony, you are a funny, funny man. Well, my son is now almost 25, and he grew up with way too much Newton's Apple, Voyage of the Mimi (hello Ben Affleck!), Gumby, Sesame Street and my personal loathing, Mister Rogers Neighborhood, and he turned out just fine. I drew the line at the one withe brandy-huffing, cigar chomping alcoholic..Capt Kangaroo. And I saw enough Pippie Longstockings to last me 500 years.
I have a 2-year-old daughter and we've kept her TV viewing limited to PBS, and there's not much on there that bugs me (no Barney allowed!). I do wonder about Clifford the Big Red Dog and the logistics involved when he has to go potty, and what it must have been like for a vet that had to neuter him (as a vet myself, I can't help but notice these things). And Addison is totally in love with Elmo. My husband ended up buying her this huge stuffed-toy Elmo that he found at a garage sale and he had no choice but to bring it home strapped to the back of his motorcycle. Try picturing a 42-year-old guy on a Honda VTX 1800 with Elmo as his passenger. He also endures endless rounds of being a guest at "tea parties". I guess it goes along with the Dora concert and what we won't do for our kids! BTW, please come back to Detroit - you could do a whole show here, and include other parts of Michigan as well. Thanks!
Please look at the "Boohbah Original Intro" on You Tube. you are blessed ot to have to endure this with your daughter.
You were quite right about this post being ONLY for parents of young tots.
This post also feels to me like the end of summer, or the end of an era that shall never be the same again.
I appreciate all you have done before you crossed that Rubicon and shall never forget what first drew me to your show and blog.
Thanks.
Sincerely,
Wilma
how do i recommend a country for tony? i have been trying to get through for months but dont know where to leave it!
Too funny.
Whats horrible is I know every single character mentioned in this article, as well as most of the songs.
"Dont, dont, dont bite your friends" - Yo Gabba Gabba
HAHA! This is one of my favorite blog posts yet. As a Baby sitter I understand your pain oh so well. Love Yo Gabba Gabba "there's a party in my tummy! so yummy so yummy!"
Backyardigans is great too, the kids love getting me to dance to the songs with them. Agreed on Wonder Pets, the animation is so lazy and isn't that little duck teaching them bad speaking skills?
Nihao Kai Lan I will watch even when I am home! haha It's so cute and I love learning mandarin with her!
um... Okay.
(wanders off, slightly dazed and more than a little confused)
Tony, Please don't make the same mistake I did and purchase a "BACKYARDIGANS" Pinata !
The look of horror in my three year old nieces eyes. Reminds me of the same look you have when you say or hear ABBA !
I only hit it once. One small child is one thing but twelve. I felt I should run. The other mothers at the party Stoned me with looks of utter disgrace. These Tony are things they don't write in books or pass down at daycare's. Needless to say I left the party early.
i love that you in joy watching your kid grow, because i am a dad that watches his 3yr old son and 4 month old son 5 days a week .It is a great experience to watch then grow but i have to say it letting then watch tv might be the only time i can get a break in the day since i work nights. So yes some of the show that my kid s watch are spooky but the really like then .
As a Spanish teacher, I appreciate that you have let Dora and Diego into your life! ;)
Drop all of them and watch Phineas and Ferb. Another one, is The Upside Down Show, though there are only 13 episodes.
I agree about the Wonderpets. Repetitious as hell and that duck is super annoying. Makes Miss Spider's Sunny Patch sound like a Russian novel. In The Night Garden makes me think I've ingested drugs. "Oh no! The Ninkynonk!", I had no idea public transportation could be so frightening.
My kid loves the Wiggles because of the music but Anthony Wiggle gives me the creeps.
I agree with most of the assessments EXCEPT Wonder Pets! Why all the hating on WP? Good grief. Save the hate for some of those truly vile shows. My baby girl looooves Wonder Pets. "What's it gonna take? Teamwork!" The only other TV she likes at all is Sesame Street. That's it for her and TV.
My captcha - "High Thirst" I didn't know you could program biographic Captchas
I highly recommend Word World on PBS. Helps kids with the alphabet and phonics and doesn't drive parents to drink at 9:30 in the morning.
And the jump the shark moment happened...............now.
What about Little Bear? One of the most fantastic kids shows ever.
I for one miss the classics Mister Dress up, the Friendly Giant and old school Sesame Street that I watched on CBC as a child.
No Hi-5? My daughters both LOVE that show, especially the Australian versions.
I don't mind Wonder Pets so much but the animation does grate.
@Jamie
You should try the pinatas where you just pull strings until a hidden compartment opens. Much less violent and disturbing for children, but not nearly as gratifying for adults.
Checked out the Backyardigans, and I thought one of the voices sounded familiar. A quick look up, and it's the actor who voiced Aang in "Avatar: The Last Airbender," which I place as the best children's show post-2000.
Just wait, she hasn't found Caillou yet. That will be coming when she's 3.
That kid puts me to sleep. Truly painful to watch.
I can't believe you wrote about this! It's so funny.
I have twin nieces who are 14 months old now and The Backyardigans is the first ever TV show that they paid attention to. It never fails to calm them when they're having fits... and all members of our household now constantly sing songs from the show.
Also, my 20-year-old cousin decided to have a children's party-themed celebration for her birthday. Songs from the show were playing the whole time, but if you didn't pay attention to the lyrics, the melodies can actually be mistaken for songs for adults (they have samba, tango, etc.).
We love the Backyardigans!
Great diatribe Anthony! I saw you at the Capitola Book Cafe in, well, Capitola California, very nice talk. I've enjoyed reading your blogs and can't help but hear them all in your voice.
You are so funny Anthony Bourdain. But If I can limit my 2 yr old's TV habits, I know you can do it. I try not to buy into all that commercialism that already bombards even our toddlers. I refuse! It annoys the hell out of me that Dora the Explorer is on every lunchbox. Can't I just have a lunchbox with a simple Butterfly on it? It's too much. Little kids are just as happy outside staring at a line of ants crawling up a tree. And you have to learn to say no to them sometime. you may as well start now when you can actually control them. It's a good life lesson. They won't die if they can't watch The Backyardagans.
NOthing tops Sponge Bob!
My daughter is 19 months old. We watch sprout. I like that they do not show toy commercials but they have recently added the wiggles. Nothing creeps me out more than grown men in spandex hanging out with small children. I know I have issues. My son on the other hand is 7 years old and he likes wizards of Waverly place and The Tom and Jerry show. He rarely sits and watches tv. He just told me he is to busy which I agree with. He is always up to something plus he has karate and guitar lessons.
Yo Gabba Gabba is fantastic!!! Since my son is just shy of 1 I am subjected most often to Baby First TV. Don't knock it til you try it... the nighttime, somewhat psychedelic, programing is great for lulling little ones to sleep. I could name every show, every character, and sing every theme song. It is indeed incomprehensible and offensive to my non-parent friends (and my husband).
Super Martian Robot Girl....Yeah!
I think Heather Mills must have watched too much "Lazytown" as a kid.
My kid's favorite daytime show?
"No Revesations" (sic)
What? She is two already? It seems like yesterday when she was born. I bet she is adorable. Awwwwwww.....My great nephew is 4, and he kicked my arse on the nintendo game this past Sunday. LOL.
I couldn't have said it better myself if I had tried harder to do so ... and I have.
When my sons were young,in keeping of "politically correctness" we banned play guns. Kids will make do with anything, they used sticks from outside-so that idea was out the window. Next day we went to the store and bought the whole wildwest set.
Stay strong my brother. Boys are around the corner. Gods help us.
My boys are a little older than your daughter, so we just let them watch your show. No need for cartoons anymore - except (of course) Johnny Quest.
Dear Tony,
Have you ever been self-destructive? How did you deal with it?
Much love,
ghost
on the personal level, i would even allow them to bet on football, responsibly!
Their bet will include house work, but absolutely no financial material and money included.
http://www.footbetting.co.uk
First of all, let me say I am totally disappointed that you are not an ABBA fan. Second, I just watched your episode question/answer episode and I noticed you did not answer a question most of us want to know. Having been all over the world several times, where do you go on vacation? Do you even take a vacation? Hell, do you even read the comment section of your blog?
In the words of ABBA, 'The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself.'
Billy
I had to steal a line from this, couldn't help it.
Fantastic post, Tony, and as the father of a 2 year old myself...hits home. You're spot on with the assestments, though Yo Gabba Gabba weirds me out. However, I do enjoy Franklin, Little Bear, and my ATF, Toot 'n Puddle. Those scamps.
Tony,
Great post. I love it. It hits home as we have a 3-year old and a 6-month old. Wonder Pets will wain. The promos for the Fresh Beat Band make me apopleptic. I don't know what "Shout" has to make a fake gun when he says ratt-a-tatt. This is for kids, you don't need to be hard, homie.
Tony,
Until recently, my wife and I believed you to be an arrogant foody with a great show...we never miss a show! Your episode when you were in Hong Kong was my favorite (secretly, I am collect Shaw Brothers movies)...was my favorite, until your episode in Beirut.
My wife and I were moved to tears...your commentary touched the fabric of our being. To put it colloquially, We could kick it with you on your trips. As a private couple and parents of 3 that's saying a lot. After I have received my kidney transplant, I will be looking for you on one of our scheduled journeys.
Regards,
Jeffrey
Post Script
I love the comments about Rachel Ray
I think someone needs to limit your tv time...
These psychedelic creatures meant to instill some sort of humanity into our children really frighten me. They seem like they are some creation of some hidden cult such as the Illuminati or something. I fear for humanity bcause everyone seems to be so taken in with them.
Dude. . .after you put the tot to bed you should turn over to Cartoon Network at 11pm Su-Fri for Adult Swim. The lineup there isn't the best that it has ever been, but after a few episodes of Harvey Birdman, Sealab 2021, and The Venture Brothers, you will be a convert.
Kai Lan is nothing more than another Dora. Same Schtick, cuter hair.
My girlfriends and I also routinely discuss the hypotheticals of marketing a Muno doll (minus arms and legs, of course) to adults (come on, he does only have one eye!), as well as discussing the benefits of being able to gaze at Captain Feathersword's butt.
I'll still take the Jack Black episode of YGG. Best. Ever.
Nick compelled us to purchase "Moon Sand." Never again . . .
I am actually teaching myself to speak Spanish by watching Dora and Diego on Planeta U (Univision).... HA!!!
I COMPLETELY agree! I hated Yo Gabba Gabba at first. Of course, the first time I noticed it was when Elijah Wood was doing his "Dancey Dance" --- the Puppet Master. Oh God.
You should try watch Charlie and Lola on the Disney Channel. It's only on at 6:30am on Saturday and Sunday so you have to record it. Our daughter rewatches the episodes all week and LOVES this show. It is the sweetest show about a cute four-year old (Lola) and her sweet brother, Charlie. The are British and adorable. Just watch out for the show that immediately follows. . . . Shana's Show. I hate her. The most annoying theme song that is repeated through the whole damn show.
Let me state that years ago when I had young ones around my house I positively FORBADE Barney. The trite lyrics the shoddy production value and the drone like behaviour exhibited by any small child within earshot of the TV forced me to ban it. I am mad convinced there is an entire generation that has been brainwashed into committing mass murderers once Barney says the magic word, I want no part of it!!!!
For the record Lazytown is worse and I suspect plastic pink haired flesh eating tweens will be the result.
Dear Mr. Bourdain: You may feel free to come to my house to witness life imitating Nick Jr. art: My cats are named Max and Ruby (mother and grown kitten)--and they act like the rabbits in the show!
Awesome commentary, I totally agree, esp since my two year old and I watch the same shows, WONDER PETS, BACKYARDIGANS, etc... I totally get a kick out of "Thomas the Tank Engine" narrated by GEORGE CARLIN. He must of done that for his grand kids? You'll have to check out Disney Channel next. Another heap of toddler toons to trash!
I suspect someone behind the Fresh Beats found out that "The Jumparounds" was the name of band on MadTV that parodied The Wiggles.
Ironically, it's because those shows are so creepy and poorly written that I have restricted my daughter's TV watching to the Food Channel........perhaps you can suggest a "little cook" type program that the kids can watch and actually learn something from. A parent can dream.
Not to mention Ming Ming and the speech impediment. She is asking to be added to a stew. I cannot believe you would brave Dora Live! Now, if you ever want to catch a good one, DJ LANCE live is AMAZING. Our kidlet has seen him twice, once opening for the Aquabats and I had to wonder if we had more fun than she did.
I'm reading this blog while my 3 y/o watches yet another episode of Wonder Pets. I think it's a great show myself. I like the music and animation, and my daughter re-enacts scenes from it all the time, which is cute to see (luckily, without Ming Ming's lisp). She likes the backyardagains too- we were hooked after the Great Race episode with the really fun zydeco soundtrack. Our DVR has as many WP episodes and NoRes episodes. The beauty in recording them of course is skipping over the commercials... and the jumparounds!
100% agreement Mr. Bourdain. Cheers!
Every foodie parent I know is toasting you on this one, Tony.
Wait till she gets old enough to watch Nickelodeon - Spongebob, iCarly, and True Jackson. They're not the bad ones....the newly added show "Glenn Martin, DDS" is HORRIBLE. It is so inappropriate for kids, it is astounding to me that it's on a kid's network at all.
Ah, you bring bag fond memories of me and the kids watching their favorite shows. My daughters are 20 and 23 and I can tell you that they survived the bad shows and also learned a lot from the good ones (like Sesame Street). I wouldn't go back to those years but I do look back on them with a sweet nostalgia. The best thing you can do for your kids is spend time with them. I never regret (or maybe sometimes I do) being a stay at home mom and setting up easels in the living room and having their toys as well as pots and pans all over the place. One daughter is neat the other isn't, but they're both well adjusted, articulate and creative...but, of course, they're never going to want to leave home. There are worse things.
Go buy your kid some Invader Zim and Ren and Stimpy DVDs. They're never too young to be properly indoctrinated.
I so very glad I am not the only one terrified of Lazytown! And Seriously though, why DOES Dora always have to shout? Handy Manny has weaseled his way into my heart ...or at least the tools have and I will always love Charlie & Lola.
I had to convert my 15 month old son to watching something, anything, other than SPROUT! After watching it for several months he has started having conversations with us in Chicka language.....weeeeooweeoooweeeoooweeeeooo.
DAMN YOU CHICKA, DAMN YOU!!!
the most enjoyable blog entry i've read in a while. and i read a lot.
What about Little Bear Tony?
Sorry you had to take your kid to Dora Live. I just took my 5 year old son to an U2 concert. He loved it.
(Why doesn't Dora get a GPS in instead of that map?)
you didn't mention little bear or ruby and Max...two of our favorites...Noggin was new to me, as a grandmother, didn't have it or anything like it when my kids were little..my grandchildren love it....
My daughter is 15 now, but we managed to escape Barney - lots of time with Blues Clues - she had a pretend dog, Blue for a while then pretended to be a dog for a while. Also Little Bear -very sweet.
We all watched t.v. together: SpongeBob, then The Simpsons, Seinfeld and finally Daily Show/Colbert. When she's a bit older you must introduce her to I Love Lucy, The Marx Brothers, Abbott & Costello as part of her education! All the old gags are just recycled on Nick Jr.
The fantastic thing about Steve from Blue's Clues is that when he "went to college", he actually went off to make indie rock music with the Flaming Lips: www.steveswebpage.com. So there's a good reason you like that guy. :)
Also, The Backyardigans? Stellar.
Enough of your sly distractions Tony. Between this cartoon critique and this week's fan- friendly feelgood show, I think I have stumbled onto your true motive: You wanted to be close to home when your secret love, Rachel Ray won the Daytime Emmy. Did you two curl up into a cozy corner booth at P.J.'s and make googoo eyes at each other? hahahah . Keep on rockin'.
You know how we avoided that whole television thing? We don't have one. Can't afford one anyway.
But if you want good music for your little girl, check out New York-based Hot Peas n Butter. They are GREAT! Even I liked them. http://www.hotpeasnbutter.com/ and no, I have no affiliation with them whatsoever
Becoming a parent means you start talking about all of the stupid things you swore you wouldn't. I know, because I am a parent and have discussed various children's shows (and the contents of our babies' diapers) with my adult friends, thereby breaking all of my self-imposed rules. I have to agree that Yo Gabba Gabba is pretty cool, although I feel like we'd all enjoy it more if we were using drugs.
Bourbain,
You are bubbadashiz!!! I agree on every comment!!! FYI - let your little one listen to Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas!!!
I meant Bourdain with a d not a b, sorry I don't have an editor!!
Hey, Tony:
Please do not give up on picking on the Food Network. This kind of blatant hypocrisy deserves repetitive tongue lashings by someone with some moral authority.
I'm writing this after viewing the Q and A show and the Montana show tandem on the same night. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I got mushy-faced and teary eyed viewing both of them--something like the Montana author who said, "The highest compliment I can receive is when somone cries when they read my work." You got it. I've asked myself why. I think it's simple. In the face of that kind of homesty and self-disclosure, one is touched and humbled. Kudos to the crew for their brilliance. I agree with you that the show is getting better in EVERY! Keep on keepin' on. You all deserve all the praise you get. By the way, Tony, my rotator cuff, elbow injury got better with a combination of deep tissue therapeutic massage, fish oil, vitamin E, and regular chiropractic care. Not 100%, but better.
Amen brother.
Got a 2 and 4 year old myself. I'm totally picking up what your putting down.
Tony, I agree with you 100%!!! You have put into words exactly how I feel about Lazy Town and The Wonder Pets better than I ever could. I hate them like poison.
You must be really bored with your show to make a post like this.
Could be time to wrap it up. Or at least a hiatus!
You forgot to mention two of my favorite characters. Moose and Zee! I haven't yet memorized the YO Gabba Gabba songs but I know every Moose and Zee track. Overall you picked my brain perfectly with this post.
It was such a let down to see a cool, interesting guy like Tony, to learn he was just another boring breeder, follow the life scipt much? Child free all the way. Tony, next time use birth control
oh, tony. i love you so. wonder pets is the most annoying kids show ever. my picks? jack's big music show and olivia. my son's picks? wow wow wubbzy, max and ruby, and maggie. barney and teletubbies (freaks. me out.) are banned in our house.
HI!!!
i'm mexican girl i live in piedras negras coahuila, i don't speak english, but i realy like you and your program,i have a kid he have 6 year, and he like the backyardigans,yo gabba gabba, little bill, and wonder pets too,
I hope have a nice day
I must say Im still a PBS loving adult. Arthur, Caillou, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood... All so awesome! Though YO Gabba Gabba seems to be this new thing... i personally think its kinda creepy.
Dora the Explorer is what makes Mommy want vodka in the afternoon.
Funny, as always, but I have to disagree about Lazytown. I have a crush on Sporticus and his muscles, and I always made my kids watch the show so I could fantasize about him!
Okay - Dora and the repeating - UGH!!! Diego Too.
Blue - depends on the day and the caffine.
Wow Wow wubbzy - teaches - cleaning is boring - NOT a good thing! - banned
Little Bill, Little Bear, Backyardagains, Maggie, Oswald, Spider & Ni Ho Kai Lan all okay.
Toot and Puddle - the name is creepy.
Lazytown - take or leave.
Yo Gabba Gabba - pretty good with the music and the lessons!
But AM on 'pbs' with Clifford, Curious George, Sid the Science Kid, & Martha Speaks are all GREAT!
I too have been resolved to childrens programming as well and the day that noggin went 24/7 was GREAT!!! - But we too indulge in Spongebob more often than I care to have happen - But it could be worse (BARNEY & Teletubbies).
Thank you for loving gabba, my twins adore it and quite frankly so do I! That lisp on the Ming Ming is like a cheese grader in my ears. I love you.
I like MAma Merrabells Home movies(sorry about spelling) We only get it one day a week Sat mornings at 7 AM but I really like this program it is all animals which my kids are really into
I didn't really take the time to read the previous 144 comments so if someone already made this point, I apologize. I have a daughter about the same age and I agree with the notion of 1/2 hour-hour a day of boob tube, and if it's gonna be anything, it's gonna at least have the semblance of being educational. However, I strongly believe in exposing kids to some good clean insanity to get their creative gears a turning. I think the best example for this is none other than Mr. Spongebob Squarepants. The end.
This was too hilarious- I live with a three year old boy who angrily chastised me for making fun of the Wonder Pets as his mother and I sat off to the side while he was viewing the program.
I don't know which one is worse, the Little Lord Fauntleroy turtle Tuck or that gerbil I suspect barely escaped being part of a threesome with Sigfreid and Roy.
haha! awesome insight Mr. Bourdain!! :)
I have a little niece and nephew around your child's age, and what you say about the shows is true! ;)
I'm waiting for the day when I turn on Yo Gabba and you are the guest doing the "dancey dance" to a Ramones song. I also loved how you did the whole "party in my tummy" while dragging off a hookah in Egypt.
And the Backyardigans...they have similar "production values" to your show...truly, they are the shining star of children adventure shows.
You gave fair warning. Yet, I could not resist. I am not a parent and I WAS a tad bit offended. I somehow thought you would be taking jabs at the annoying parents of unruly children. Alas, that was not the case. No matter, you are still a very cool dude despite your love of all things Nick Jr.
I totally agree with what you're saying about Dora and Diego. When my son watches that the only thing I can focus on is where the hell are their parents??
This is BRILLIANT, and spot-on in every case. I'm bookmarking this page to read again and again. It really made me laugh out loud.
Spectacular... if only I could have put all my thoughts into those words. Well, I would be you - not me - if I could do that. My 2-year-old also has me captivated by these characters - and I feel exactly the same way about WONDER PETS... it's creepy.
ugh - Chowder and Flap Jack are the ones that make me want to jump off the nearest bridge while picking my brain out with an ear cleaner. Sponge Bob I've had to come to terms with as my daughter (6yrs) is an avid fan. The rest of the cartoons come and go, but SB is apparently long term in our house.
As funny and insightful as your comments may be, I implore you to start denying your adorable two year old because as Ming Ming says "This is seeewwiousss". All that tv (quantity but also a lot of its quality) is crap, teaches but a small fraction of what interacting in real life does and gnaws away at our children's psyches and abilities to just "be". The worst of it, is them witnessing the ways in which we say yes when we mean no, turn our backs on our own values and promises to self and teach them that their self-proclaimed wants are more important than the many years of experience that guide us in determining their needs. That ends up being one of the worst lessons we teach them in the pacifying glow of the boob tube.
Just wait till she graduates to the dreaded Drake and Josh, or the Naked Brothers Band, or even worse iCarly!!!! You think Backyardigans is driving you crazy! Wait till she starts singing the beginning of these shows.
Ok, I'm glad I was not the only person confused by the Fresh Beat Band and the Jumparounds... My 3 year old daughter looooveeesss them (no fun for mom). Thankfully she also loves Spongebob. I was not a fan of Little Bill, except that he has so much going on at school, that it made my daughter EXTREMELY excited to go to school as well. So yay. And I LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba. My little one has liked them since they came out. Here is the video of her going to see them when she was approx 18 months old. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS_kHL9peOY
Couldnt remember the name of Toot and Puddle one day and called it Poop and Puddle. Now I just cant ever watch that show without cracking up.
Ok, I'm glad I was not the only person confused by the Fresh Beat Band and the Jumparounds... My 3 year old daughter looooveeesss them (no fun for mom). Thankfully she also loves Spongebob. I was not a fan of Little Bill, except that he has so much going on at school, that it made my daughter EXTREMELY excited to go to school as well. So yay. And I LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba. My little one has liked them since they came out. Here is the video of her going to see them when she was approx 18 months old. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS_kHL9peOY
Bourdain.. I am glad to read this blog entry, as my son (3) is also clued to Noggin and it's oddness. He calls it "his channel".. "daddy's channel" is usually No Reservations. It is somewhat soothing to me to know that you aren't always balls deep in exotic delishousness. I wonder if you eat hot dogs and PB&J as well?
I completely agree that LazyTown is essentially a Golden Books version of Faust (or perhaps, Faust! The Musical!), and I really appreciate the Snarkview on children's programming. All in all, I agree, although I never knew that Dora was Diego's cousin. How far south are they?
I suggest that you buy the fuzzy stuffed equivalent of your most hated and your Daughters most adored characters. I suggest this only because I was the mother a BARNEY fan, and much like you I was powerless against the toothless grin and cow eyes looking up at me the hero, the wielder of the all powerful remote, wanting only his Barney fix for the day. When my son began to out grow the show and found a new puppy the center of his world I found my revenge on Barney as every day I sat and watched as this little dog humped Barney into submission. The hours of total joy I found while cheering that little dog on as he molested that damn purple dinosaur will live in my memory for all eternity (that’s right pup barney likes it like that ..yea bite him on the neck he loves that). Now 10 years later with each flash of the tender moments I spent watching Barney and friends with my son on my lap clapping and singing “I Love You…” In the dark crevices of my mind I see that puppy who truly Loved Barney…all night long
Oh man, I'm am so there with you on Wonderpets. My three year old LUVS it. She'll watch the same episode over and over again as long as I'll let her. Everytime she asks for Wonderpets I seriously consider ramming sharp objects, hell, even dull objects, into my eyes and ears.
You would think that you could trust playhouse disney with the kids but I find the programs kinda the dodgy. I saw a cartoon that's shaped like a genital. I forgot what it's called. I recall the phrase "small is powerful". I wonder what that means.
That was great. i have a 2 yr old daughter also. good to see that you still have a little left in ya!
Pablo the Penguin and yourself are my two favorite dudes to tune into. Do me a favor and scream about Max and Ruby. Can't stand that crap.
Absolutely right on the money. I couldn't have said it any better. Good analysis and welcome to the Fatherhood club, didn't know you had a daughter. I too have one of those raskilly little rabbits, and it's a joy at times and but an exercise in mental anguish at others.
Waterboarding my Ass, to really get results, send in a 2-year old girl and let the confessions begin!! Cheers, Schmidty
The fact that you've had time to actually analyze all these shows amazes me. With the life you must have.... The balance of work and life (as you too well know) I have found is the most difficult thing to achieve these days...
Kudos to you for spending time with your daughter, which by the way has one of the most beautiful names.... and the same as my wife!
Best of luck to you for the future. Can't wait to meet your wife on Monday ;-)
did you write this for me? hilarious, i am right there with you. but my biggest problem is max and ruby, that bunny ruby is so controlling and max is a deviant.
for a few months after my son's birth i actually had a crush on sporticus...sleep deprivation is crazy shit.
thank you for writing this article, hail to dora and the chocolate tree! please do a show on places to take a toddler to eat. we have found some good ones in ny, but its a..challenge.
I would love to know what you think of Max & Ruby....
I as a 1/2 Filipino American want to roast Toot & Puddle in the backyard. I bet their ears would be so crispy.
My husband and I have also over analyzed Noggin programs. Your mind must go somewhere... Our thoughts captured here: http://sercetlyunstable.blogspot.com/2009/03/i-am-ebert-and-roper-of-childrens.html
I laughed so hard at your comments about Wonder Pets. My nearly 3 year old son adores them too, and my husband and I like to bastardize the theme song..."What's gonna work, BUCKSHOT...what's gonna work, RAT TRAP." Yo Gabba Gabba does have some very good lessons, but that DJ Lance just freaks me out. Oh, well. As long as my son doesn't want to be him for Halloween, that's fine.
The first time I saw Yo Gabba Gabba was while I was baby sitting my friend's son. My very first thought: "Is that a one eyed monster?" and he's ribbed for your pleasure!
My son is now 11 months old and hasn't showed much interest in cartoons until just recently. He loves Yo Gabba Gabba and I do too. Especially the song "Don't, Don't Bite Your Friends"... my son has discovered that he enjoys to bite, particularly mommy's arm, so I when the song is on I change the lyrics to Don't, Don't Bite Your Mommy.
Bwah hah hah -I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. I could have written your post - which is to say that I agree, not that I possess your writing talent. But I gotta disagree with Yo Gabba Gabba. I don't get it and never will. They give me the creeps.
But you're lucky - I have a 7 year old in addition to the 3 year old. And he's into these annoying preteen shows: iCarly, Drake and Josh, etc. So annoying. But I gotta admit a strange enjoyment of SpongeBob. And there's this crop of disturbing, though vaguely interesting cartoons such as FlapJack and Chowder. And the geek in me likes the heoric ones - Avatar, Wolverine and the X-Men, Ben 10.
Tony,
Big time fan --- just dropping by to say hi from (Bhutan) -- have 2 kids now and I couldn't agree more with all the character descriptions... though I can't stand Backyardigans.
Looking forward to catching all your episodes on Monday.
LOL! Wait until she discovers Chowder on Cartoon Network!
You correct sir!
I had absolutely no idea what any of this was about but I had to read it just because of the warning you gave.
However, after reading this re-enforces my deep gratitude I have for myself that I didn't have any kids.
Sincerely, may God bless those who have children and thank God I don't.
You're right. I have no idea what you were writting about.
As a mid-40s mom of a three year old, I have to agree that the Backyardigans absolutely rock. How did this stuff get past the Powers That Be--the beancounters and supposed educators who treat anything furry, feathered, big-eyed or anthropomorphically rotund and oddly coloured as some kind of newly discovered chicken soup for the newly minted soul?
Back in the day, Sesame Street set the standard, and I think some of these yobbos are sniffing the fumes for inspiration. Alas, not everyone is Jim Henson. And really, could we stand a 24/7 channel of nothing but Muppets (as much as I love Kermit, Grover, and all of the Fraggles, for that matter).
As a proud Canadian, I have to do a bit of chest-pounding about the quality of the live-action TV shows we watched here as kids. Yes, I'm pointing specifically at Mr Dressup and the Friendly Giant. Those shows have stood the test of time. By adult standards they are slow, they are simple, they are low budget ... but they are also cheerful and child-friendly. They aren't teaching children the instant gratification of an animated world that has just enough factual basis to confuse a child's grasp of reality. This underscores one of the things I love about Backyardigans: It IS blatantly, blisteringly and hyperbolically IMAGINARY. The message in every episode is that is it IS make-believe, and that we always need to come back home to reality. Henson didn't miss the need to make that point in Sesame Street, either ... he just did it more obliquely.
I continue to be amazed that the Backyardigans made it to air and stayed there. Wonderpets does not surprise me; it is the Rachael Ray of children's programming. It merely appalls me, and of course, my daughter loves it. It's aimed at the preschool audience, completely oblivious of the fact that conscientious parents watch TV with their kids, at least some of the time. Parents are kids at heart and we like a little simple entertainment once in a while, especially when were a captive audience, but we're more jaded. Wonderpets not only holds nothing for us, it outright offends us. (Don't get me started on Dora and Diego--they're a marketing machine that was spawned by the video gaming industry. And my daughter loves them, too.)
Backyardigans gives us a clear paradigm: Go out into the backyard with your friends and play make believe. It has musical value, it has animation value, it's just plain engaging even to our jaded adult minds. It is clever. It has quality and attention to detail. Even if it's not your cuppa, it's hard not to respect and admire the thought, effort and originality put into every episode.
Pablo, my penguiny homey, if you're reading this, know that you're my hero.
You are hilarious! You write like you speak on TV. Just wait until your daughter gets a little older and starts to prefer the lame cartoons on Cartoon Network and those pre-teen shows like iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana. You'll be wishing for Dora and Diego.
Love your shows and books!
I too agree with your assessment of these shows, but can't believe you didn't give props to Jack's Big Music Show. Jack, his crazy drummin' dog Mel, and accordion-playin' best bud Mary dish out some Muppet Show-style humor, and each episode focuses on a different musical genre. My musician husband loves it almost as much as my 3 year old son. My current favorite episode is "The King of Swing" with guest Buddy Guy. I highly recommend it!
I loved this blog! So much so I am forwarding it to several of my friends and my husband!! You should flip on over to PBS Kids Sprout channel. They have some really good programs also! However interspersed with them are episodes of Barney, who is so far beyond his 15 mins of fame and Caillou, whom we affectionately call Cry-U for the same reasons that you feel there needs to be some tough love for Toli!! My kids aged 3 (boy) and 2 (girl) will watch most of the programs together which is a welcomed moment of peace and quiet.
But just wait until your daughter discovers Disney and Barbie Princesses! Disney I can stomach as many of them are based on older Disney books and movies. Barbie on the other hand.. not so much. Most of the dvd's are like a bad musical on repeat!! Ugh!
Anyway, kudos to you for taking an interest in what your daughter is watching and the things that she enjoys. These are memories that while she may not remember them in detail, will always have an influence on her life!! :o)
I could have written this myself! I agree almost 100% with all of your takes! Especially about Steve/Joe, Lazy Town, Toli, and the Fresh Beat Band. But, I have to stand up for Wonder Pets. I love them! I buy into their cuteness and their ability to always use teamwork to save the day. :)
As a mother of a 4 year old, I couldn't agree with you more. Lazytown needs to be destroyed. You forgot Little Bear though. I can actually watch it with my daughter and not want to stab myself in the eye. You rock Tony!
Anthony,
I couldn't agree more. However, you did leave off a very important character. One that happens to overshadow most moments and sometimes even late nights. Wow Wow Wubzy...it's like Kiddie Crack. I just don't get the appeal but my daughter is addicted. I have been woken up at least a handful of times to the squals of my little girl screaming "wow wow wow" or "go wow wow". Obviously she is still stimulated well into the evening after an afternoon episode. Kiddie Crack...The upside of this show for me is the fact that They Might Be Giants are resposible for the catchy toons. I remember listening to those guys in High School. Starnge how some of it all comes around full circle!
As an older (54) parent of two adopted (China) 4 1/2 year olds, I had the same idea regarding limiting TV. Ha. My folks may have just as well limited my listening to Savoy Brown, John Lee Hooker, the Tubes or Richard Hell. Ni Hao Kai Lan, obviously, is a favorite but, hey, if the kids like 'em, what the Hell. My boy loves Sponge Bob, which reminds me eerily of mescaline adventures of years past! The times they are a'changin!
LOL I’ve laugh so hard with this.... I have a 2 1/2 niece and she loves all these shows. Any ways I had the understanding that Dora seduce Diego to be in his show and then she did some flirting with the producers of Diego so she can get her on show LOL. Love your show!!!
You are right on about all of it! But what about the virtues of Moose A. Moose? My kids love him. As for not watching TV, I will tell you this - I went to a party where half of the parents said their kids aren't allowed to watch TV (groan). There was a guitar player as entertainment who played "Name That Tune" - when he played a certain kiddie tune, every kid yelled "Spongebob Squarepants!"
Anthony, while I pretty much agree with everything you've said, I find it disheartening that you have failed to mention a single word about the disturbing acts of the Wiggles; where grown men... check that... middle-aged men pretend to behave as 6 year old kids would, singing and dancing in such a painfully joyous manner that it makes my ears bleed and my frustration with the world come out in one fell swoop.
Something else I would have like to hear your comments on is the Teletubbies. Why must they continue to infect us with their subliminal dark messages that I fail to understand. They do not seem to be from this Earth, talking in a language only young children seem to understand and I'm afraid that one day the message will be complete and our children will, in a Teletubbie-induced trance, rise up and take over the world, bringing Po and Dipsy into power and we will all bow our heads twice a day to a baby-faced god which we currently know as the sun.
What happened to the simple humor of a cute cuddly mouse nearly snipping off the head of a big bully cat while "Mammy" chases after the mouse with a broom, or the adventures of a clumsy hunter tracking "wabbits" with a double-barrel shotgun, regularly inflicting more pain on himself than the rabbit. There's something to be said about simplicity in kids programming. It used to be easy and humorous, without point but in today's world, we have to constantly shove education at our kids to try and get the one leg up on everyone else. Maybe, one day, we can look back and laugh at how hard we tried.
I'm with you on most of this (Lazy Town = waterboarding) but I have to disagree with your sentiments about the WONDER PETS. My daughter is now 4.5 and I'm sad that WONDER PETS and Little Bear are no longer part of her TV time now that she's a 'big girl.'
I understand that you're getting older and softer; I'm the father of a little girl too, I understand, but Tony, dude, just imagine watching the WONDER PETS wasted. If WONDER PETS had been on in my teen/college days I am sure my friends and I would have watched it religiously. Stoned. Tripping. Awesome.
I agree with most and have been cracking up at everything.
I do though love LazyTown. I love how weird it is and the fact that he acts, directs, and produces the show, that's insane.
Just this morning I started yelling at the TV when that crappy Fresh Beat Band started. Luckily my son had just left to school, but they are the worst things I have ever seen. I hope the show fails and next season they will be gone.
Lazytown creeps me out as well. Who thought of that show and those horrible charcters?? My son (2) also loves Yo Gabba Gabba, I could take it or leave it. I didn't realize you had young children....Noggin is a true genius channel if you ask me.
I do understand the not allowing you two year to war=tch too much tv but sometimes it just doesnt work that way. I am a single mom and that tv at times can be a life saver for me. Especially in my no reservation kitchen. Thats when I need Wonder Pets the most. I personally can't handle too much children show watching myself. Tends to make me feel like I no longer can spell. We have multiple tv's in our home to soothe the tv beast within us. Maybe thats bad but I do the best I can. But really my son and I due watch your No Reservations religiously. I really enjoy watching you Mr. Anthony. Thank you. Sissy from Texas
Ha your post cracked me up..I have a 3 yr old and she is in love with Noggin and Nick jr too....i swear at night those stupid songs go through my head!!!
Well i have a 16 yr old who loved Barney as a tot so lets JUST be happy our girls dont like that stupid purple freak!
I haven't read all of these comments. Maybe this was said before. I used to love watching you on the Travel Channel...until it was replaced by, you guessed it... NOGGIN. and no, I don't have kids.
I don't know about you guys, but the fact that the duck's name on the wonder pets is Ming Ming only makes me want to roast it and serve it with pancakes and hoisin. Peking style.
We have 2 in diapers right now and are also stuck in Nogginland for the moment. Olivia freaks me out, what happened to that nose? There has to be a story there. And what ever happened to Franklin? Did he get rubbed out by the Fresh Beat Tools as they stomped their way to the top? Those awful songs were burned in my brain for weeks before they launched. Awful! Love your show!!!!!!
If your child does not know the cartoon exists, they don't beg for it. It is possible to raise a child without daily TV, or any at all. Then, no one has to hear the annoying whine of Caillou, and the lispy "l" as "w" as aforementioned. Your child can use their own imagination to create a Backyardigan-esque world in which they ACTIVELY play. Another bonus: they don't see the commercials for all the junk out there and therefore don't beg for that crap either!
Stepping off soap box now.
I enjoy your program but not your bigoted, left-wing comments against Northern Europeans. You'd find out how much freedom you REAlLY have if you made similar comments about blacks or mexicans. What's the verdict? bbbaaaaaahhh
Ohh my Tony! I must admit, though, Nick Jr. is definitely better than Disney Channel. I really did appreciate that last comment in there.
Perhaps I'll have to give Yo Gabba Gabba a chance...
My hubby and I just finished reading this and have tears from laughing so hard. I can’t count the number of hours I have spent with my 4 year old daughter playing along with the Backyardigans. We have actually climbed into a big cardboard (box) Viking ship, worn pirate hats, cowboy boots, all black clothes, and dressed up like the Lady in Pink. Then we sing and dance along with the episode. This is actually a lot more fun than sitting there watching. We also watch Yo Gabba Gabba when we are inside. It saddens me a little that she has pretty much outgrown Blue and Steve. When I need to do stuff around the house, I either get her to help me or I turn on a Disney-type movie.
However, after she is done helping me cook dinner, sometimes we all settle down and watch your show together (supervised of course hehehe). We love discussing with her all the places you go. It’s a great way to introduce her to other cultures. She loves learning and likes the fact that you don’t eat as many G-ross (yes, 2 syllables) things as “that other guy”.
Although I’m sorry to say that even though she loves to cook, we have not yet played “No Reservations”. Maybe you should dress the crew up in costumes and get some quirky little theme song to sing along with… ahhh I digress…
Get your daughter a real pet, just be sure it isn't tasty...no fish.
Screw those shows - I can't stand watching any of them. They need to bring over Cbeebies (from the UK) - now THERE are some good programs. One of them is actually on Disney Playhouse (Charlie and Lola) which I like, and my 2 year old son likes. I think I might like it just a bit more than he does... :) And In the Night Garden is shown right before bedtime - and actually CALMS THEM DOWN. Now there is a idea - mental margaritas for toddlers.
I can't believe no one mentioned Sponge Bob. I love that show.
I have 9 and 6 year old sons, among other children. I am 57.
The winter the 9 y.o. was two Monsters Inc. was out on DVD. I sat through that DVD at least 200 times that winter. (I'm not exaggerating!)
I guess what I am saying Mr. Bordain, is that you have many, many more hours, days, weeks, months, and years to spend watching things you may or may not really want to watch.
But beware it passes too fast.
Cheers, Robert
Forget all those shows, my 2 year old's favorite show is No Reservations. (-:
OMG... This is funny!! I agree with you-especially on Sporticus--Lazy Town.. I always wondered about that guy--now I know.
Great reviews. I agree with you a hundred percent. Especially the part about spand-creep-o Lazytown.
You are hilarious. You wonder about Diego. I have a theory about Dora. I think Dora's Mami is a prostitute. She is always sending Dora out on her own. You hardly ever see her father and she plays with a monkey. The monkey is a metaphor for STD's (get that monkey off my back). It is a little disturbing, but it teaches Spanish and following directions--two skills my two year old will really need as she gets older. So, I am resigned to it as well.
Hey Tony, I’ve just discover that your girl has almost the same age of mine and that your birthday is the same of my girl. Then, I love your show. Thanks to you now I want to now Samarkand …so.
Well I could not agree more about Blues clues. My personal favorite tends to be sesame street, but I agree with Julia, my daughter, just the puppets parts…Maisy is not bad. Is just like watch a cartoon version of an old Chaplin short. What we both really love, though, are musicals that we get first from youtube (if she really like them, then I bought the dvd). Top of the list: fiddler u the roof and the sound of music. All Disney “old” musicals are good: fox-robin hood, the jungle book, Pinocchio, and Peter Pan. For all my disgrace all the princes ones are also a most (I can’t stand Cinderella or Little Mermaid but I can live with sleeping beauty, snowwhite, beauty and the beast).
About food… Julia, 2 years 3 months, used to love olives too. And avocado, mamey, (we are Mexicans), carrots, chicken, eggs, cuscus, rice, green beans, broccoli…now she only loves pasta…or to say the sad truth, Mac and Cheese. Just like green eggs and ham…she likes it in the tub, she likes it in the dawn…do you have any, any other suggestion. Polenta sounds good but I’m desperate to put some vegetables, fruit, beef, protein in her mouth.
You know your a dad when your flippin channels and you see a show you watch with your kiddo and you start watching it all alone. Good times Tony good times
Tony, i love the creepiness of Lazy Town. Robbie Rotten is my favorite character anywhere.
Great post, however, I'm upset that you didn't mention my (okay, "our") favorite show; JACK'S BIG MUSIC SHOW. The writing is great, the puppetry is great and it's the only show featuring four Jewish barbershop-singing "dogs" - The Schwartzman Quartet! They rock! Plus frequent guest-star Laurie Berkner is my dream girl. Hope my wife doesn't read this.
Your essay is so funny! I like your show. Thanks.
See, I like Lazytown because of the good Europop songs. The "Twenty-Times" song finally got my kids to brush their teeth long enough.
That, Yo Gabba Gabba ("Party in my Tummy...so Yummy...so Yummy), and Backyardigans were the favorites.
We actually cut-out cable a year ago. It's been fine on the kids, tough on the parents. Now, they watch the occasional PBS show and leave it at that.
Tony, you are the man. I love how you always tell it like it is and always keep us on our toes. This article is brilliant just like all your other work. Keep up the great work brother!
Their tastes do change as they grow. When my daughter was two, she loved any show on public television that showing hands cooking and stirring. She loved to cook with me and try new foods. Now that she's a teenager, her viewing choices have changed and her idea of a good meal is Skittles and Doritos. Sigh.
Tony, you are the man. I love how you always tell it like it is and always keep us on our toes. This article is brilliant just like all your other work. Keep up the great work brother!
See, I like Lazytown because of the good Europop songs. The "Twenty-Times" song finally got my kids to brush their teeth long enough.
That, Yo Gabba Gabba ("Party in my Tummy...so Yummy...so Yummy), and Backyardigans were the favorites.
We actually cut-out cable a year ago. It's been fine on the kids, tough on the parents. Now, they watch the occasional PBS show and leave it at that.
Humorous tales from the darkside, Tony. My three are all beyond even Hannah Montana, but I did attend the Spice Girls live when my oldest was a pre-teen, and as Carl the Asst. Groundskeeper once said, "I got that going for me...which is nice." I've attended enough Disney on Ice, watched enough kid tv/movies/dvds/etc. to drown Spongebob, and I occassionally have nightmares of Barney, but it's all been a great trip. Lucky for me, I teach primary school Spanish, so I get to keep reliving the insanity that only young people seem to generate. I also have a nice Dora dvd as part of my teaching and the line about the kids chanting "Swiper, no swiping" is downright hilarious if not a tad bit scary. You've got many wonderful and precious miles to go yet but getting there is so much fun. You seem like a helluva dad. Keep up the good work.
Anthony your well !!! But that's why I love the Show!
BEST WISHES BROTHER!!
219 Steve - October 18 2009 @ 5:54 pm
Humorous tales from the darkside,
GREAT COMMENT ABOVE
Love your diatribe having five and two year old daughters myself and have wondered many of the same things about Diego, the Koala in NI HAO KAI LAN, and how creepy Lazytown was. But what occupation does Dora's dad do to allow her Mom to be an archaeologist and lavish her w/ gifts and have only animal friends? Hmmm...
Also, Curious George and Spongebob seem to suck the will from my children as they mimick zombies when they are on.
Really miss seeing Behind The Lions on PBS as they are very sarcastic and funny about things w/ kids.
Love the 'Love/Hate' on kids shows!! Can we get a rant on good vs over-hyped toys next?!!?
you seem pretty right on with the shows----i loved yo gabba gabba (Don't be afraid, it's ok!), and the backyardigans--their cds are good for long drives with "the kid"
Do you watch PBS? Try Caillou and Thomas.
Their tastes do change as they grow. When my daughter was two, she loved any show on public television that showing hands cooking and stirring. She loved to cook with me and try new foods. Now that she's a teenager, her viewing choices have changed and her idea of a good meal is Skittles and Doritos. Sigh.
Their tastes do change as they grow. When my daughter was two, she loved any show on public television that showing hands cooking and stirring. She loved to cook with me and try new foods. Now that she's a teenager, her viewing choices have changed and her idea of a good meal is Skittles and Doritos. Sigh.
Signing Time - it's the awesomest show I have ever let my kid watch. Sadly, it's not on PBS anymore, but a lot of libraries carry dvds and they sell at signingtime.com. It was instrumental in teaching my daughter some amount of sign language and the music is good, and it's a total family production.
Very Good
hey there Tony! so sweet to read this post since i am also a mom to a 3 yr. old little boy named Sam. Everything you said is true! I personally love the Backyardigans too...even bought DVDs of their shows! welp, i am a fan of yours and would love to see back here in the Philippines!
Reminds me of the time I met some friends for dinner at Carmine's midtown. A girlfriend brought some musician guy. Eventually - after a few drinks - the guy started complaining that he never got laid. I was like, "do you meet girls at work?" He was like "no. not really. you see, I'm a host of a kids show..." God bless you Steve. And good nite wherever you are. :)
Wise words from a wise man :)
Yo Gabba Gabba is Sesame Street for ravers.
Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so! really nice post.
As a parent, I thought it was a good read.
I encourage you to check out Chowder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chowder_(TV_series) and Flapjack http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marvelous_Misadventures_of_Flapjack just because the are kind of amazing and completely frightening.
Love the blog and best wishes to you and your family.
I couldn't have summed up Noggin any better, we are currently indoctrinating our 2yr old with this particular channels brainwashing capabilities.
Oh my. Tony, you rule. This is perfect. As the father of a three-year-old, this is so spot on with my wife and I's observations. Besides, TCM (and some Travel Channel shows, of course), we're tuned into Noggin. Lazytown, The Fresh Beat Band, pure evil. Who's ideas were these? I od miss The Upside Down show.
My kids have reached the teens now, with one well on her way to adulthood, so the horrors have only just begun for you.
I do have to say I flipped through and caught Yo Gabba Gabba and sat transfixed through the entire program. The gods have heard my secret prayers! Sid and Marty Krofft have been reincarnated!
Captcha: b8 psychos sounds like a good band name. ;)
i love your show...but i have to say that in the one in Argentina i so two things that i must comment...the empanada is original from Chile...and when you named pippi in the Swiss village i remenber that she is original from Sweden...everything else whas great.
My son is 18 and I'm 56 so I'm really not allowed to be reading this, but I was sucked in...fascinated somewhat, and partly that I've never heard of any of these shows!( of course...). I lived through and endured Mr Rogers ( who I actually appreciate in hindsight now for being mellow amongst all the quick-change ADD pace of some other shows, and it was almost trippy in its weirdness), Barney ( NO comment), Blue's Clues ( yay Steve, for sure) , Thomas the Tank Engine ( also weird and cool)... etc.
I recommend 3 films: Fantasia ( no words needed ) , Totorro ( great artistry here + inexplicable weirdness and a strong little girl), and We're Back - great animation and story and who can resist a film with voices by the like of Walter Cronkite, Martin Short and Julia Child???
Good luck to you.. you're off on a great Adventure...
get ready for spongebob.
Amen, Mr. Bourdain! you say all the snarky sarcastic things we would all think if we were half as witty and had such a grasp of the English language!!! Yes, Lazytown is evil and my children are not permitted to watch it.. and yes the very rave scene, acid and mdma laced Yo Gabba Gabba is awesome. My 2 year old danced for the whole show! although i do love the "dj with the magic turntables", I still think the staff of YO Gabba Gabba spends way way too much time injesting hallucinigenic substances, but it's for the kids right! keep thinking and saying all the things the rest of us want to! Love the show! And yes i also think Guy Fieri is also a walking salmonella factory with all of the bling! yUK! I'm glad i am not the only one!
Ha ha- I'm in complete agreement with your review. I've always hated Wonder Pets. My son was speaking in sentences by the time he was 14 months-old and HE had trouble understanding "Ming-Ming" and her baby talk!!! Now four, he thinks The Fresh Beat Band is a load of rubbish.
iwatch the tony show religiously... love it!!!
The show just rocks. I am a huge fan. Looking forward to the next episode.
This really made me laugh. Yea, I totally understand. I have 2 boys (3 & 6) and its difficult to deny them those shows sometimes, especially Nick jr. Anyways, love ur work!! One can only hope to aspire to be a chef like u one day :D
Yea, these sorts of shows are funny like, pingu, simpsons and more
I am just wondering what these people are thinking...who in their right mind would wanna be on a show like the fresh beat band? Either they really love kids (which i doubt) or they're having a hard time finding serious acting roles and would rather degrade themselves on national television than get a real job
some of the shows they have for kids are just horrible. but like you said, there are some good ones out there. sesame street is still good. i loved pingu, but my boys outgrew it. kipper and tiger was also kind of cute. foster's home for imaginary friends, is pretty awesome too, but your daughter may not be old enough yet. my gym partner is a monkey, is pretty subversive also. yeah, i have boys. they aren't cutesy, which i hate with a passion. they are a little sarcastic, but still manage to entertain the little crumb snatchers. i tried to make one of my kids watch captain kangaroo with me on youtube, they just laughed, and patted me on the head. oh well.
I'm really bummed that Nick Jr./Noggin kicked "Jack's Big Music Show" to the curb. I think I liked it way more than my sons.
I was going to ask, what your opinion is of the cartoon "Chowder?" Knowing your kiddos, as mine, are still under the age appropriate radar of this gem, I do however, appreciate the "Ren & Stimpy" feel to it. Having Brian Doyle-Murray voice the ever loving "Captain K'nuckles" was a stroke of pure genius.
Completely in agreement with your superb assessment of Nick Jr. programming. Lazytown is frightening. Very twisted crystal meth umpa lumpa inspired nastiness.
What about Max & Ruby. Wonderfully subversive...
You're right. I am not a parent and I should NOT have read this krap. :)
Tony...OMG...Yo Gabba Gabba reminds me of a bad acid trip I once had! One late night, after getting home from many bars, I find myself in front of the TV with this show...I was with a 20-something crowd and they thought this a good idea. I swear I had flashbacks...IMMEDIATELY!
But yes, it is natural to HATE some of these characters...such as I hated Barney when my son was coming up. I knew too many of his shows verbatim. Many folks wanted to kill Barney back then...Welcome to parenthood my friend!
Wow Wow Wubzy is another fave, and the theme song sticks in your brain forever. The craziest part of all of these shows is descriptions they give that make parents feel good about letting their kids watch TV. you know, the part that says "Wonder Pets enhaces your child's interpersonal skills, and increases their appreciate of music and movement"
Hi, A.
I'm right there with ya, wonderpets suck. Yo Gabba rocks! Athough, Scooby Doo is still king for my kids.
The other day, my prep guy (getting his PHD) and my dough guy (in a black metal band) got into a heated argument about who was sexier, Velma or Daphne. Then they told me they wanted to release a line pizzas topped with "Scooby Snacks" that would eclipse our sales of chicken wings.
Rock on...by the way...all my guys are waiting for your new season (2 days)
Semper Pie,
John Gutekanst
Owner
Avalanche pizza
Athens, Ohio
and what about barney the purple perverted dino? How come he doesn't wear pants and keeps hugging kids.
Tony,
We have a 3 year old daughter and as I read your comments out loud to my husband we not only howled with laughter but, point for point, we agree with you wholeheartedly on all of your likes and dislikes. It's interesting (maybe a NY-er sensibility?). Right now we are watching Olivia which is also under the "tolerable" list for us and the "much loved" list for our little monkey. I would like to personally drown both Max & Ruby and Wubbsy...Ugh!
You know these things creep in when you find yourself singing the "On the Range" song from The Backyardigans in the shower....
SO DEAD ON!!... and let's add one more... the extremely obnoxious, entightled, whiny little dancing mouse, Angelina!!.. someone trap her and put her out of her misery!
My son has been watching Disney Channel and Cartoon Network (only Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends). He watches Nick for SpongeBob, when I'm feeling generous. LOL! Mostly we keep his viewing to a half-hour in the morning and maybe an hour or an hour and a half (enough time for a PIXAR film or Iron Giant) in the afternoon. Luckily our son has good taste in shows that we can tolerate. He won't watch Sesame Street unless it's Elmo's World...so we don't watch. But the best show, I have to say it really is good for kids, is Word World on PBS. Your daughter is at a prime age for this show and she will love all the animals. I got creaped out by the fact the characters were made out of their words at first, but when my son started spelling with it and singing the songs, it grew on me...and it's not Disney or PIXAR.
BTW - can't wait to see you in Austin this coming April! We are taking my son's Montessori teacher as a surprise as she just adores you. She has been a godsend for our son and helps with his SPD.
Love your show (and really loved Kitchen Confidential - riotously funny)!
your a better parent than I bourdain, i cant stand any of these insipid crap-toons, as long as i dont catch her watching that family guy american dad trash, just bring in fritz the cat why dont you?? but after all the newage b.s techno savvy cartoons the one thing that cracks my daughter up.....tom and jerry...like i always say, old school rules...