I had the monster averaging 120 mph. Bugs bouncing off the windshield sounded like golf balls. Every once in a while, somebody would pull up alongside like they wanted to play. I'd tap the gas and leave them like they were standing still, find myself doing a rock solid 140 with plenty to spare. Back down to 80 when I'd see the bulls and it felt like 20. But the truly impressive feat of driving -- all across the deserts and highways of the great American Southwest, was performed by the tag team of Mike and Jared, in the production RV trailing behind. The bloody thing was mammoth, a freakin' behemoth, an unwieldy living room, kitchen, bathroom and master bedroom on wheels. You'd lay on the double bed in the back and the thing felt like it was actually yawing, the ass-end swinging out like a bending licorice stick at 95 miles an hour. No matter how fast I pushed my smaller, faster, spanking new German beast, when I'd pull over, the RV was only 10 minutes behind me. It was like that early Spielberg flic, "Duel". Only without the killing and the Dennis Weaver sweating and stuff.
The on camera demonstration of high speed butchering techniques and BBQ prep in the RV kitchen caused, I suspect, bleeding brain-sweats at Travel Channel legal department. "Don't Try This At Home, Kids!" Every once in a while I get to do a show that's total playtime. The car? Free (for the duration of the show). All I had to do was drive it. The people silly enough to entrust me with this expensive piece of high performance equipment only asked that I "have fun." "How does it handle off the road?" I asked, expecting to frighten them. Nope. I was encouraged to beat the shit out of the thing. And I did my very best.
Loaded up the iPod with a "desert-driving mix of ZZ Top, Lynrd Skynrd, Taj Mahal, the Stones, Tito and Tarantula, James Brown, John Fogerty, Prodigy, Steppenwolf and every song I could find with the words "Road" or "Highway" "Wheels" in it. Chris, by the way, my supposedly responsible executive producer and head of the freakin' company, sitting in the passenger seat? Hardly the voice of moderation. "Faster!! Faster!!" he'd hiss, through spittle flecked lips. "Make it jump! Get some air!!" he'd shriek, urging me on -- when already off the road, tearing along at 60 through some dusty arroyo. I gotta work this product placement vehicle racket more often. And I'm open to suggestions from any gearhead fans on what cars might be fun to misuse next.
Other than my first act of product-related whoredom, the Southwest Road Show was notable for a few other features: The return of veteran cameraman Jerry Risius being the most welcome and obvious. As some commenters have noticed and wondered about, we tend to rotate key crew members on tours of duty. Producer Tracey Gudwin, for instance, has been living in Berlin since shortly after the Berlin show and returns for the Egypt and upcoming Venice shows. Jerry, recovering from the cumulative effects of a nacho-related head trauma in the Texas/Mexican Border show and the Beirut experience, returned for the Road Show -- filling in for Zach Zamboni (who was busy shooting the more lucrative feature film Naughty ButtMasters #7).
Nothing is better for a brain bruise and a nervous breakdown than being forced to competitively shove a 72 ounce steak, fried shrimp, bread, salad and potato down your gullet in front of a crowd of hooting Texans (and our cameras). And of course, there was Alice. Cooper that is. About the nicest, most normal guy you could ever meet. It actually makes perfect sense that he own a sports bar -- as he's a sports nut. And I could have spent ten hours easily shooting the shit about 60's era Detroit bands and baseball. I almost worked through some trauma of my own: a Randy Johnson related problem I've had since the Yankees lost to the D-Backs in the play-offs a while back.
It was inevitable, if you think about it, that I should make television, eat BBQ and play with large caliber automatic weapons with Ted Nugent. It was, I think, only a matter of time. In fact, midway through shooting a scene at "The Nuge's" ranch, I got a text from Mario Batali -- inviting me out for drinks or some kind of mayhem. I texted back that I regretted being unable to join him as I was currently unloading a belt-fed M-60 machine gun at Ted Nugent's place. His totally unsurprised response was "Of course you are."
I didn't seek Ted out, by the way. I was summoned. He called a while back, said we should make television together - -and then told me exactly how. When the Nuge says jump? You ask only "How High?" and "How much ammo will I need?" In TedWorld, by the way, it all makes perfect sense.
And finally, this was the episode where I, at last, got to settle the score with Switzerland. Perhaps launching an ICBM at them was a bit much -- but my skin really and truly crawls at even the sight of an Alpine vista. I don't know why exactly. Maybe it has something to do with Helmut, the Swiss/German barber I had to go to as a child. He had one of those wall murals of Lake Geneva with snow capped alps in the background -- and I always associate those images with getting an ugly and humiliating haircut from a stern-looking old guy with a scary German accent. Followed by bullying at school. Even Ricola commercials make me break into a cold sweat.
Lederhosen, Alpine hats, cuckoo clocks, St Bernards, cross country skiers and the Sound of Music make me phsyically ill. They remind me of hair clippings itching my nose, a coiff that would make a middle Brady blush, and the feeling of many tiny little fists in my face as from behind, someone goes for the atomic wedgie . So it was with real joy that I initiated launch sequence. Hell, I ain't ever making a show there anyhow. And their cheese? It sucks.
thanks
thank you wery much
Providing Ted Nugent a venue on his erotic facination with killing animals was a pathetic choice for the show.
As a native New Mexican, I wanted to quickly point out that you called the green chile "sauce" on your enchiladas "salsa verde" - it's not salsa verde. salsa verde is made from tomatillos and jalapeos. Also I thought it was wierd when those chile growers said that they had trouble finding workers to pick their crops and we were supposed to empathize. Could it just be that they just don't want to pay a decent wage to workers who may or may not be migrants? I doubt there is a shortage of people who need work. If they give up growing chile, it's their mistake.
Also, Ted Nugent owning miles of property and breeding exotic and non-native animals to hunt and kill does not make him an environmentalist by any stretch of the imagination. If it's private property, he could decide tomorrow he wants to raze it and build a coal plant and no one could stop him. My point is that it's not truly protected land, and therefore he's no conservationist. I have just as much respect for draft-dodgers as anyone, but when he touts guns and military might, pro-war, pro bush - it makes him look like a pretty big hypocrite for avoiding the vietnam war. Plus, if he's in such good shape, why not join the army now to fight the good fight, right?
The only time I have turned off No Reservations was the show with Captain *****, Ted Nugent. I even endured Tony's trip to Romania... Which pretty much sucked. But if Bourdain was trying to thin out the herd, he pretty much lost a lot of his audience when he decided to include Nugent and a bunch of illiterate rednecks in a bar in Texas.
Tony's trip to Vietnam was pure poetry. In fact, I scan The Travel Channel weekly for my favorite No Reservations - just to watch them again.
Please Tony... Leave Nugent out of your next trip to the border.
The southwest would be far better off without Ted Nugent shooting semi automatic weapons and hugging his pal W. Anthony says if Ted Nugent says jump, you ask how high? Really? I would think that Tony would be a little more discriminating about who he takes orders from. How about not including a racist, loser when you visit such a terrific part of the country? The only No Reservations I ever turned off and refused to finish watching.
You know what was the thing about your visit with Nugent and your subsequent pod-cast.
I expected Ted Nugent to be Ted Nugent I did not expect Tony Bourdain to be Ted Nugent.
The dish (Ted Nugent) was larded with pretension and self importance as if attempting to compensate for erectile dysfunction. Ultimately the dish was devoid of substance, balance and authenticity. The dish left a putrid, foul aftertaste from its necrotic marinade.
Negative star rating
The Ted Nugent segment was a production brain fart. I'd tune into Rush Limbaugh if I wanted to listen to a blustering self righteous ****. I live in the southwest and his brand of weapon brandishing and 'hunting' is not representative. His thrill of killing is more indicative of someone who is desperate for a sense of virility and power. That Tony happily went along with it all, terminated my interest in further viewing of 'No Reservations'.
The shows lenghty segments praising the pleasures of eating animal parts has always been a bit tiring...to that I say 'happy heart attack'. But after being fed such a load on the Nuguent segment, I'll say 'adios' to it all.
thanks
Tony, love the show with Ted. However, there is something called the H2B program and that is what they need to petition there Congressman for on acquiring more immigrant help. God Bless the Republic of Texas!
Good Site Thanks You
The shows lenghty segments praising the pleasures of eating animal parts has always been a bit tiring...to that I say 'happy heart attack'. But after being fed such a load on the Nuguent segment, I'll say 'adios' to it all.
Did you know both Alice Cooper and Ted Nugent are long-time professing Christians? Look up their websites - it's true! A lot of people think Christians don't know how to enjoy life and have fun. Nothing could be further from the truth! Looking forward to watching the show!
Very nice done. Anthony and The Nuge together was a blast.
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sharing for thanks. a lot nice writing.
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Good episode, but no Tucson or Santa Fe? Shame on your culinary ***, Tony. El Charro carne seca in Tuscon turned this veggie gal into a carnivore in seconds flat and their garlicy salsa has no parallel. Santa Fe is a culinary capital of the good ol US of A, and the green chili at The Shed will make you weep. Forget about the spoapillas- they can make you beg for more. I demand a re-visit!
thanks you.AnarChy
Very nice done. Anthony and The Nuge together was a blast.
Providing Ted Nugent a venue on his erotic facination with killing animals was a pathetic choice for the show.
Thanks!
Thanks!!
thank you very much
Ahh, the eastcoast non-driver screams out of you. Driving is the path to enlightenment. It is the key to the American mind. The endless renewal, the endless road, the ocean with unlimited possibilities.
Yes Thats is a good idea. Thanks a lot
good points, you're talent.
Bourdain shows are off the charts the crazyer the better go for it.
very good nice web page
they are more adventurous places
Thank you...
Thx.
Thanks...
they are more adventurous places
Yes Thats is a good idea. Thanks a lot
thank you very much
I should try your iPod playlist!
Thank you...
Thanks...
Thanks BoyS See you Soon
thanks for admin
Hello No Rez
Did I see right? Was Ted Nugent using his own brand of Ted Nugent Knives?
I must have one or the set.
Does anyone know where to get these?
Many Thanx
Hello No Rez
Did I see right? Was Ted Nugent using his own brand of Ted Nugent Knives?
I must have one or the set.
Does anyone know where to get these?
Many Thanx
Tony! I have been a big fan of yours for about 3 or 4 years now and the fact that you were out here in my neck of the woods and didnt make a stop here in El Paso is a major bummer. I hope you consider the idea of dedicating an entire episode to this area. We have amazing Menudo, excellent German food (German air force), a great nightlife with bars, clubs and pubs, hidding gems and dives and of course Chicos Tacos a unique culinary departure only found here in El Paso. Hit me up Tony I'll be happy to show you around!
Tony I enjoy you and your show [although we're total political opposites], you have gusto.
I've eaten in that restaraunt in Hatch and it is superb.
Just thinking of their chile rellanos makes me want to leave Vegas now.
Keep the fun going.
slainte
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Every once in a while, somebody would pull up alongside like they wanted to play. I'd tap the gas and leave them like they were standing still, find myself doing a rock solid 140 with plenty to spare. Back down to 80 when I'd see the bulls and it felt like 20.
thank you admin
it is necessary to keep a show like your's afloat these days but i am sure your producers can come up with a far more creative and unobtrusive way to do it. when it is that obvoius it doesn't even work for your sponsor because it comes off as so contrived - and not as something natural to you.
Loved your episode with Ted Nugent; interesting how you expected to be "scorned" or "shunned" [I forget which] when you return to New York after playing with Ted's fully automatic weapons. It seems that sort is always whining about "diversity this and diversity that" and when they get real "diversity" they don't like it! "Oh, I meant 'diversity' that fits my agenda Tony!" Keep it up--I like your show even more now [and I liked a LOT even before the episode]!
Good episode, but no Tucson or Santa Fe? Shame on your culinary ***, Tony. El Charro carne seca in Tuscon turned this veggie gal into a carnivore in seconds flat and their garlicy salsa has no parallel. Santa Fe is a culinary capital of the good ol US of A, and the green chili at The Shed will make you weep. Forget about the spoapillas- they can make you beg for more. I demand a re-visit!
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I recently saw your Ted Nugent episode in reruns. I was very shocked and disappointed to see you hanging with that disgusting bigot. I thought you had more class. I will still watch your show, but I have lost a considerable amount of respect for you and your advice and opinions.
Is there any where I can purchase a t-shirt with your "cook free or die" logo on it? Love your show!