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Day Three: The Aftermath

By Anthony Bourdain on February 24, 2008 10:35 PM | Permalink | 86 Comments

"Poor Ruhlman," says my wife, for about the twelfth time today. Michael has just shown her the result of her boxing demo on Friday night; a large, dark purple bruise running from his shoulder to his elbow. A truly gasp-inducing injury. As Mrs. Ruhlman forgivingly pointed out, it was perhaps not such a good idea to suggest--after receiving one playful poke--that my wife "give it her best shot." She's been taking boxing AND mixed martial arts classes nearly every day for six months and I told Ruhlman that both her left hook and right cross can knock you out. Did he listen?

Continue Reading Day Three: The Aftermath.

Day Three: The Aftermath


Day Two: South Beach Wine and Food Festival

By Anthony Bourdain on February 23, 2008 10:33 PM | Permalink | 51 Comments

Well ... the Golden Clogs went pretty much as hoped by the Forces of Evil. Under-attended. Coincidence? Or conspiracy? Many of the people who DID show up were either a) drunk or b) seemingly confused. Ruhlman and I raced through our ceremonial duties as quickly as we could--before the little remaining gold paint left on our awards peeled entirely away--and before a good part of the audience realized we were NOT the warm up to "Paula's Poker Party" and that there would be no free fruit cup.

You know, I've mercilessly and enthusiastically made sport of Rocco di Spirito many, many times. I've said--and accused him--of a full menu of truly awful things. Some of them were even true. No matter how bizarre or inexplicable some of his career choices, I always respected him as a gifted cook. He's also--when not flogging frozen products--a thoughtful and insightful judge on Top Chef. But I have to tell you--of ALL the chefs who said they were absolutely, positively, by all means would be DELIGHTED to show up at our travesty of an awards ceremony--at the end of the day, only Rocco and Aaron Sanchez actually made it.

Continue Reading Day Two: South Beach Wine and Food Festival.

Day Two: South Beach Wine and Food Festival


Dateline: Miami - The South Beach Wine and Food Festival

By Anthony Bourdain on February 22, 2008 10:29 PM | Permalink | 48 Comments

Reporting it As It Happens: your humble correspondent, Anthony Bourdain:

Day One:

Ruhlman showed up late for our all-important preparatory session for the Golden Clog Awards Ceremony last night, by which time I was deep into the negronis. I have only the dimmest of memories of who, exactly, is nominated for what--and NO memory at all of who's supposed to win. I think we ended up deciding on making half of it up as we go along--mid-ceremony. Our "celebrity presenters" have--for the most part, abandoned us for safer pastures.

There has been, I am reliably informed, a terror campaign of late night heavy--breathing phone calls, suggestions of "you'll never work in this town--or ANY town--again" and a wave of second, more sensible thoughts. The affected parties have suddenly remembered previous charitable commitments: (The "Putt For and End to the Heartbreak of Psoriasis" Invitational, the "Pull My Finger To Stop Chronic Flatulence" Bowlin' and BBQ Party--and the Fiji Water For Peace event claiming the lion's share of defectors). Can't say I blame them ...

Continue Reading Dateline: Miami - The South Beach Wine and Food Festival.

Dateline: Miami - The South Beach Wine and Food Festival


Anthony Bourdain

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